Good as Gold

I have a ceramic trinket dish inscribed with the word BREATHE. Despite its fragility, it survived multiple moves and tabletops without incident — until recently. No big calamity, just an accidental swipe to the floor. It broke in half. Frustrated and a little sad, I picked up the pieces and glued it back together. It’s imperfect, for sure, but there was something satisfying about restoring it — giving it a bit of character, like a beauty mark or an eyebrow scar that adds charm.

It reminded me of a gift I received years ago: a small turquoise bowl with a hole and cracks filled with gold. My introduction to Kintsugi — the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted in precious metals. Each piece becomes one-of-a-kind; its flaws transformed into assets. The message is clear: beauty and resilience are intertwined. Therapy is its own kind of Kintsugi. I don’t mend pottery, but I do work with the parts of people that feel broken.

Case in point: a friend recently told me his marriage is ending. He’s full of grief. The thought of being alone guts him. He’s 48.

Another: a young woman, reeling from a breakup, fears she’s unlovable — convinced she’ll be single forever. She’s 25.

This is just a small (but telling) glimpse of the kinds of stories I hear — where pain gives rise to the belief that we’re unfixable. That something’s wrong with us. In the midst of unraveling, we often can’t see what’s becoming — only what hasn’t happened yet. Being witness to these moments asks for the same things Kintsugi does: presence, patience, tenderness. Though the materials are different, the heart of the work is the same.

Because here’s the truth:

“When life breaks you, it’s because you’re ready to be put back together differently.
Every piece that feels shattered is one that can find new meaning.
The cracks are where the light gets in.
Sometimes, in our brokenness, we discover our greatest wholeness.
We rebuild. We reimagine. We redefine what it means to be strong.

You are not broken; you are breaking through.”
(Author Unknown)