From Either/Or to Both/And: Making Room for Two Truths

I heard a song this morning called “Both Can Be True” by Meghan Patrick, and it has stuck with me. The lyrics resonated because they reflect something I often talk about in therapy: two emotions can exist at the same time—happy and sad, hurt and relieved, angry and compassionate.

So often, we get stuck in one feeling—usually the one that feels safest or most automatic—and lose connection from the others underneath it. When that happens, we miss important information about ourselves. In therapy, this is often described as emotional complexity—the ability to hold more than one feeling at once without needing to eliminate or prioritize one over the other.

Here’s what that can look like:

• A young woman is dumped by a man she really liked. Instead of allowing herself to feel sad, she reacts with contempt and anger, focusing on his perceived immaturity rather than connecting with her hurt.

• A couple moves to a new city and state after living in the same place for over 40 years. They’re excited—and they’re also grieving the loss of a home and community they love.

• A man’s wife leaves him for another man. He shares the news with brevity and stoicism. Behind his eyes lies a heavy sadness and exhaustion. They’d been together for 30 years.

The song’s lyrics capture this tension beautifully: Weeds growing right next to wildflowers; Be in one piece and feel a little torn; A thankful heart can still want more; Both can be true.

As we move toward closing the chapter on 2025, this idea feels especially poignant. For most of us, the year has held both highs and lows. It can be helpful to notice them—to name the good as well as the challenges. What might it look like to bring both joy and personal accountability into the New Year - gratitude and humility?

We’re all better off when we allow room for both. Cheers!